Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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