The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They are going to name an STD after you.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
