I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
worst night to have a conscience
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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