I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
