We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
