You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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