I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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