I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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