wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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