umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
