Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize