He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
ok first of all what the fuck
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
