have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
