found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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