went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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