Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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