you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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