So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
