The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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