why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
