so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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