I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
