goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
