Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize