so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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