You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
