He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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