she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
