i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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