I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
