Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
false alarm. still invincible.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
