The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
