How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
