i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
