A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
