He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize