Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
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