I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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