Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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