We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
