doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
