I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
