I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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