so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
