STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
