Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
