Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
