I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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