Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
