Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
