i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
