chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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