it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
