Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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