I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
