a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
