They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
