did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
