I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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