Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
