I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm like, not good at living.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
