we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
