i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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