what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize