i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's shark week go big or go home
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
