**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
