i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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