yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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