Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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