i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
