Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
