So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
