my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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