you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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