Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
