is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i came on her dog
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize