You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
