mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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