I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
