i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i out mim tonsoeep
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
