i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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