Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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